Salty Triathlete: The Dream Cave

Now, more than ever, a little wishful thinking goes a long way.

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After almost a year living under COVID-19 restrictions, it’s starting to feel like our home gym could really use a home makeover—of the once-in-a-lifetime fairy Godmother variety. If we could wave our magic wand, here’s what we’d add to our indoor training pain cave dream wish list.

A tech guru on speed dial

There’s just so much technology involved with indoor training. We’re not scientists; we’re triathletes. That’s why we need a tech guru on demand to fix things before we even know they’re broken.

Endless good Netflix shows we haven’t seen yet

It’s the white whale of 2020. What we wouldn’t pay just to know what to watch. Oh, wait, you can pay for that.

A notification-free, email-free, Insta-free zone

Just for the length of our workouts. No Slack notifications, no Zoom calls. This is a tech-free bubble. Except for Zwift, and Netflix, and my Kickr, and TrainingPeaks, and the Alexa that plays music.

Weights that magically adjust to our ability for the day

Some days we’re weaker than others, but we don’t need to know that. And we definitely don’t need to be changing up our kettlebells and dumbbells all the time. They should just do it themselves.

A room that always fits our workout

Envying the pros’ pimped out pain caves is so last year. What we’d love is a room that adjusts “just so.” Harry Potter had the Room of Requirement; we have the room of requiring you to train harder: big empty space one day for yoga, perfectly placed trainer and laptop the next for Zwifting, and then it all disappears with dinner on the table when you’re done.

Self-evaporating sweat

Poof, it’s gone. No puddles or weird chafing. It’s not that we mind sweat; it’s just that we don’t need so much of it flinging around.

The not-too-hot, not-too-cold, perfect always steady airflow

No more moving the fan to face you or turning down the thermostat—and then up again, but only in certain rooms. In the perfect quarantine training situation, you’d always have a gentle breeze brushing your face with an exact 61 degrees F and no humidity ambient temperature.

A pool. In our house.

No explanation needed.